Examples Of College Essays That Worked

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You need to check corresponding words and phrases for this high mission.

Thus, it is important to look at perfect schools/colleges applicants’ samples.

Search for them online or in college archives to read carefully.

There is no need to read just every information you have.

On the first day, all the team members dived into the water as soon as the coach gave the order. To make things worse, the coach was constantly correcting my technique.

From my stroke to my flip turn to my dive, nothing I did seemed right to him.I find it to be very effective to read each sentence out loud — it will be obvious that you are missing a word. I am impressed with how you discussed a lot in not very much space.Now I will discuss larger changes and additions you can make to improve your essay. When editing your essay, I used the “Track Changes” option offered by Microsoft Word.Dear Valued Customer, You have done a great job answering each part of this question in a balanced way.I like that you broadened the swimming subject to include how you responded to the demands of balancing work and school and extracurricular activities.Make sure the icon is selected (depressed), and then use the drop down menu to select one of the following versions to view: Final Showing Markup Final Original Showing Markup Original Thank you for choosing Essay Edge.Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about this revision.The entire first week, I was stuck with the coach to work on my diving. ” in my heart, I felt that quitting was not the right response.He kept repeating that I should dive with my head instead of my whole body. I wanted to become as good a swimmer as my teammates. Many times I felt as though I had pushed myself to my limit and could not continue. ” Finally, I conquered the physical and mental challenge of the sport.I would suggest adding maybe one more sentence to your concluding paragraph about how you would respond in the future. The others I have corrected directly on your essay. “Felt” is past tense, while “need” is present tense. Here and in several other spots in the essay (see edits) you are missing a “the” or “a” before your nouns.This was a similar problem you had in the previous essays and should be something that you are aware of in all of your writing.


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