Essay The Things I Carry

I carry her whenever I go see a consult in our emergency room, and I remember that appearances can be deceiving.Every patient begins to us as a mystery waiting to be solved.

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When I was an intern, I wanted to be prepared for anything that could happen.

The pockets on my white coat bulged outward, overstuffed with things I thought I might need.

Cracked, dried, irritated lips soon came my way, and Superhero Chapstick came to save the day.

I prefer Burt’s Bees Pomegranate Replenishing Lip Balm with Pomegranate Oil (ingredients: sunflower seed oil, beeswax, coconut oil, castor oil, lanolin, comfrey root, pomegranate oil, sweet almond oil, anise oil, cassia, cinnamon leaf oil, clary sage oil, mandarin oil, tocopheryl oil & tocopherol, rosemary leaf extract, carmine, fragrance).

They are the names and faces of the many patients I have been privileged to interact with, each with a lesson for me, each with something important to say. Anand, MD, FACS, associate professor, Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond, for his encouragement and advice.

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Other than that, I had a I did that because never ever in my life before or afterwards, have I felt such a strong sense of ambivalence, and I wanted to translate that to the audience.

I have also given reasons for making the decision to study abroad.

I no longer carry any books or pocket cards; instead, I carry the lessons I have learned. I remember the grandmother who complained of several days of abdominal pain with a benign exam but with a computed tomography scan from a referring facility showing widespread pneumatosis and portal venous gas.

After emerging from her operation, in which nothing was resected because it all would have needed to be resected, she took the news of her situation with quiet grace and passed away in the arms of her family that night.